maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
