great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
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