it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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