I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
