I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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