Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
