I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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