You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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