just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
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