booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
