Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize