you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
