That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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