I like to think it a success when the cops are called
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
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