Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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