Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
