Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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