Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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