He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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