Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
