WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Randomize
