you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
