Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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