Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
These tits shall not be calmed
Randomize
