I wannas sexs uuuuu
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
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