she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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