dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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