Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize