oh god the rape fog is back!
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
