Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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