i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
