now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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