What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
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