She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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