Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
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