marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
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