When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Randomize
