I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
