So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
