He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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