So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
