Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
