Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
she woke up with a sticky ear
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
