fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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