holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize
