K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize
