His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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