As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
