So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
