She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
