yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
