my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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