now i know why i became what i already was.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
