Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
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