I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
