Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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