She swung at the pinata with crutches
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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