I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
