I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
