you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Randomize