I don't remember. Are we still dating?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
