i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
