it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Please, let me fuck your mom
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
