$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
So I just went to clothing optional bar
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
