i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
