You're completely useless in the revolution.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
