So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
