FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Randomize
