Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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