a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize